ABOUT SALLY SUE SMITHJOHNSON DUMPLINBUTT
MOST HONORABLE AMBASSADOR FOR TOURISM

* Sally Sue Smithjohnson Dumplinbutt was born and reared in San Antonio, Texas where she quickly suspected that the American way of life was inferior to that of the Supreme Glorious Nation of North Korea. The daughter of Earl Dumplinbutt, an itinerant cattle rancher who only worked 14-hour days, and Missything Smithjohnson, a lazy homemaker who sold Avon products on the side, young Sally knew she was destined for greatness despite the fact that she was born into the most morally bankrupt nation in the universe. Left alone for hours at a time by her American parents, young Sally watched many reruns of the highly flawed-television show, M*A*S*H, and it was during these viewings that she first took notice of the valor and supreme intelligence of the North Korean movement. Rising to high prominence as the head cheerleader at Hondo High School, she set her sights on becoming an international stewardess.

After 14 hard-working years and three pay-raises, fortune finally rained down on Sally when her airplane crash landed into Korea Bay where the feisty blonde drink of water was quickly rescued by the brave and daring courage rescuers from the Coast Guard of North Korea. Quickly rising to the position of head tourism lady in charge of attracting American tourism, a position she was born to play, she now shows Americans the many obvious virtues, morals and lovely pockets of the great Nation of North Korea. To this day, Sally still can’t get over the fact that she was forced to endure so much Texas BBQ when somewhere else in the world, people were enjoying the far superior Korean BBQ. If only her plane had crashed earlier, she thinks to herself when she sleeps at night in the palace that North Korea has given to her for having willingly moved there to enjoy the peace and joy and bliss of being a citizen in North Korea.

* Biography written by Sally Sue Smithjohnson Dumplinbutt herself without any coercion from the North Korean Government.